A pledge to America... revisited

By tmcbpatriot

Fewer jobs in May. Unemployment is up. What happened to the jobs? What a joke!

Remember many, many years ago, back in 2010, when a bunch of goofballs stood in a hardware store with their "Pledge to America" theater prop in hand and said some nonsense about putting America back to work? Well, turns out a lot of people fell for that joke and voted for them... again! Seemed eight long years of economic destruction was not enough. The thinking was, if we just give these Republicans more time, then things will become better. In fact, when you ask many of these same folks today to justify their decision from way back when, they say that the previous administration was really not all that bad compared to this one.

And as a result of their political foresight, things have changed for the better. Right? We should vote to give them back the presidency, right? After all, these guys gave us a "Pledge":

With this document, we pledge to dedicate ourselves to the task of reconnecting our highest aspirations to the permanent truths of our founding by keeping faith with the values our nation was founded on, the principles we stand for, and the priorities of our people. This is our Pledge to America.

Very patriotic. You can almost hear "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" playing as you read it.

Now, I know what you are thinking. They did not actually deliver of this pledge. Congress's approval is at record lows and the jobs are not coming. Well, perhaps you need a little help understanding the "Pledge" and how much of it was actually accomplished.

Let's break it down: 

The Pledge: "The permanent truths of our founding" 

Translation: Being gay will nto be tolerated. It says so in the Bible.

The Pledge: "Keeping faith with the values our nation was founded on" 

Translation: No abortions past 20 weeks, even in cases of rape and incest.

The Pledge: "The principles we stand for"

Translation: We will not allow taxes to go up on the wealthiest people, but poor people must pay their fair share.

The Pledge: "The priorities of our people" 

Translation: Any person suspected of not being born here, or with dark skin, must not be allowed to vote and under no circumstances should ever be allowed to be president ever again! 

You see America, it was all right there, clear as day back in 2010. Sorry if you missed it. But don't worry. This next time around things will be much more clear. And about those jobs? Well, really when you think about it, who needs jobs? America voted for a "Pledge," not jobs. If Republicans had spent all their time on jobs these last three years it would have distracted from their real agenda -- obstructing a presidency lock, stock, and barrel long enough to convince you to vote for them... again!

You still want to see jobs, huh? Ugh. Okay, then vote Republican in 2012! If you liked what they did in the first half, you will just love what's in store for Act II!